He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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