It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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