Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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