his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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