I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry about my life...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
