Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
