suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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