Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize