Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
