discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
