why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
