I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
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I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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