I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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