I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
