Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
