I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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