i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
