"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Where is the hickey?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I cut my penus on the lid.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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