you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
