after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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