he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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