Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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