I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
