I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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