Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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