Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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