Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
