Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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