I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"