Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie