oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
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I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?