if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara