So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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