haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize