just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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