i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
