I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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