i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You may now shotgun with the bride
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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