he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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