Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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