I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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