Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
