So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
