need another drink. this is the easiest way
i jhust puked up my retainher.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize