There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos