Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (1280)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is evicking siegelnvs

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is fucking ridiculous*

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  (410): This is evicking siegelnvs (443): Im sorry? (410): This is fucking ridiculous* http://tfl.nu/9l7k
  Replies (13) Good night (3878) Bad night (639)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
  Replies (29) Good night (4253) Bad night (899)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1793) Bad night (5235)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.

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  (313): you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones. http://tfl.nu/7zc6
  Replies (3) Good night (4378) Bad night (853)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.

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  (603): I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujkx
  Replies (6) Good night (8891) Bad night (1152)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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  (516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7
  Replies (21) Good night (1024) Bad night (4320)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months

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  (262): Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon (1-262): That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months http://tfl.nu/99ql
  Replies (1) Good night (1589) Bad night (471)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.

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  (701): She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down. http://tfl.nu/f22r
  Replies (18) Good night (710) Bad night (1328)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.

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  (253): I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kt7p
  Replies (10) Good night (586) Bad night (962)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

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  (202): What kind of costume was that supposed to be?? (1-202): I'm an orgasm trader! http://tfl.nu/kj4e
  Replies (4) Good night (929) Bad night (328)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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  (903): There's a naked man in my car right now. http://tfl.nu/6qzb
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (293)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.

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  (561): It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment. http://tfl.nu/pafa
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (286)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.

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  (218): So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/i9rc
  Replies (5) Good night (416) Bad night (654)

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