Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize