she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize