Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
