I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
