I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
