Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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