Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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