If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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