i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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