This girl is more easily done than said...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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