she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
