So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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