apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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