Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
