i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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